Tag Archives: Queer Night

The 50 Other Things You Hear At Every LGBT Party

 

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You can sum up every gay party broadly into two categories: free flowing boys, and free flowing cocktails. What else is there to life, you ask?

Great vibes, endless pitchers of sangria and pretty boys aside, each soiree is also a bundle of sassy one-liners and anecdotes — ones that you’d be (most definitely) lending a ear to, when you are not lending a cigarette to the hot boy across the dance floor. We’ve already swept through 50 of such well-worded gems at a previous party; but there’s always space for more, just like there’s always space for that one last drink. Are you ready to put the contestants on RuPaul’s Drag Race to shame?

Here are 50 other cult lines you’ll hear on your way to the bar, as you push your way through a gaggle of sequined men at the next LGBT rager:

1. ‘I’ll have a regular beer. Do you have change for 2000 though?’
2. ‘I should have just come straight to the after party…’
3. ‘But wait, there is an after party, right?’
4. ‘Oh damn! Hide me! I hooked up with that guy two weeks ago, and I don’t want to say hi!’
5. ‘Can you make me a vodka soda with four cubes of ice? Hold the soda…’
6. ‘If I stand right next to the bar, do you think someone will buy me a drink?’
7. ‘Why were you in the bathroom for so long?’
8. ‘He’s not my type, you can have him,’
9. ‘Oh wow! Can you believe it? He really looks nothing like his Grindr profile picture!’
10. ‘Today’s guest list is like my Grindr screen, you know what I mean?’
11. ‘Next time I come here, I am going to get a straight friend along so I am not the most awkward person in the room…’
12. ‘Hold my drink? I heard that the smoking zone is where all the cute boys are…’
13. ‘They really need to hold these at a different club — I feel like I’ve embarrassed myself in front of all the bartenders here…’
14. ‘I am scared to go the restroom! Maybe I’ll just hold it in…’
15. ‘Okay, just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you need to have your blinders on like a horse! Do you see the open buffet that I do?’
16. ‘I am telling you! He was definitely wearing the same clothes the last time around.’
17. ‘I think I need a shot of tequila to calm my nerves, okay, make that three shots of tequila…’
18. ‘What’s this I heard about you planning to call it a night and leave early? The party’s not over till they hand out the plastic cups!’
19. ‘Umm, I’ve been waiting here for like five minutes for my drink…heelllooo?’
20. ‘Umm, I don’t want to sound awkward, but is your Grindr name TheExcalibur by any chance? You look really familiar!’
21. ‘I only came to this one because it was 15 minutes away….’
22. ‘If his pants get any tighter, he’s going to need some surgery.’
23. ‘When was the last time I saw you? At Fashion Week two months ago? Why didn’t you come say hi? I was right by the bar!’
24. ‘Can you split that on two credit cards?’
25. ‘I can’t wait to get into a relationship just so I can stop coming to these gigs, to be honest.’
26. ‘Hi! Can I buy you a drink? No? Your friend, maybe?’
27. ‘I can’t believe he just called me bro.’
28. ‘Is it too soon to ask someone if I can bump a cigarette off them?’
29. ‘Oh wait! I don’t remember if I’ve slept with him or not…should I go and say hi?’
30. ‘Are you serious? Who comes to these alone?’
31. ‘I might have gone overboard with the pre-gaming. I am feeling slightly sick. Why didn’t you tell me that chugging that entire bottle of wine was a bad idea?’
32. ‘I am just going to find myself a corner and make fun of everyone else here…’
33. ‘I don’t know whether I am drunk or not, but I feel like I need to tell you that I’ve never had an orgasm.’
34. ‘I can’t believe I went on a two day salt cleanse for such a dull night, but tell me – can you see my cheekbones? Do they look like they can cut through glass?’
35. ‘I can’t believe I had to go through three hours of grinding for another night on Grindr.’
36. ‘I don’t know whether it’s the techno music, the lights or my gin and tonic, but I really feel like the bartender was hitting on me right now.’
37. ‘How many calories do you think a glass of sangria has?’
38. ‘Did all the hot men collectively decide to sit this one out?’
39. ‘On a scale of 1 to 10, how “effortlessly put together” do I look?’
40. ‘If he’s a seven on the dance floor, he’s most definitely a nine in bed…’
41. ‘I am going to play a game where I count the number of people who I’ve blocked on Grindr.’
42. ‘This crowd is so 2012!’
43. ‘That man in the corner looks like my math professor from school… oh wait, hold on… OH MY GOD…it is my math professor from school!’
44. ‘Who cares about Section 377 when all the boys out here are elevens!’
45. ‘My beer goggles are definitely not helping tonight.’
46. ‘Who calls them beer goggles? Call them Scotch sunnies or gin glares, maybe?’
47. ‘Seriously, does anyone know where the after party is?’
48. ‘There are more gay men here than the ZARA clearance sale!’
49. ‘Do you have any idea what the DJ is playing? He’s cute though…’
50. ‘I think I said hi to him twice tonight — do you think he’ll think I am hitting on him? Is it okay if I am hitting on him?’

#GuysexualRecommends: Salvation Star’s Taboo Soiree: Get Them To The Greek?

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What: Salvation Star’s Taboo Soiree!

Where: Thalassa, Khar, Mumbai.

When: 9:30 PM onwards, Saturday, 15th July 2017.

Why: Half the year might be over, but the party definitely isn’t.

As Salvation Star returns with its sassiness at Thalassa, I’ve got only one thing to say. If you love Greek food as much as I love Greek men, this is the soiree to be #spotted at.
Now, go be found.

The 50 Things You Hear At Every LGBT Party

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  1. ‘Wait. Is this only entry? I thought it was cover.’
  2. ’I wasn’t going to show up, but then I had nothing else to do…do you have a light?’
  3. ‘Hey, hi! Do you think I can borrow a cigarette from you? Benson Lights? Sure, anything will do.’
  4. ‘Is he looking at me? Wait, is he looking at you? Okay, the first one to talk to him takes him home tonight.’
  5. ‘I think I need a shot…make that two. Can you pay for these? I forgot my credit card in my other wallet today,’
  6. ‘That shirt on those pants? He’s such a fashion disaster – he should be happy he’s cute!’
  7. ‘I might have made out with that boy at the party last month, but I am not very sure. It was so dark…’
  8. “ Oh damn! I slept with him! And him! Yikes, and the third one too!’
  9. ‘Do you think I can survive on one beer all night long?’
  10. ‘OMG, where have you been? You disappeared! I haven’t seen you since…. oh wait, we ran into each other at the last one.’
  11. ‘Can we please leave before closing bell? I hate making small talk when the lights are back on,’
  12. ‘So gay parties aren’t usually my thing, but I wanted to come check out what the hype is all about…oh hold on, I see a friend, I’ll talk to you later?’
  13. ‘Is it just me, or are the lights dimmer than usual?’
  14. ‘Oh, you wear sandals? How cute.’
  15. ‘That new Adele song? Story of my life.’
  16. ‘Can I have a mojito? Hello? Hello? Umm, Mr. bartender?’
  17. ‘I want to go pee so badly, but all the stalls are full, and I am too intimidated to use the urinals, you know what I mean?’
  18. ‘Ughhh. This party is full of people I didn’t want to run int-…heyyy! What are you doing here? We were just talking about how lovely the crowd is today!’
  19. ‘…And that’s exactly why you should never ever be a part of an orgy!’
  20. ‘Sorry, but this might seem awkward, but what’s your name again?’
  21. ‘Seriously, do you have any idea where the after party is at?’
  22. ‘I totally don’t mind being objectified right now.’
  23. ‘Did you see how he had his tongue down his throat? So sick. Think someone will make out with me like that?’
  24. ‘Oh god, oh god, hide…it’s my ex!’
  25. ‘Why did you leave me alone and go? Now stand right here while I scout the rest of the party!’
  26. ‘ If his t-shirt gets any tighter, he would look like a mannequin. A hot one, but a mannequin nonetheless.’
  27. ‘…And this funny thing happened, where I told him I might have accidentally slept with his twin brother too…’
  28. ‘This party is so boring; I should have just stayed home tonight. Wait, while you are heading to the bar, get me a beer? No, wait…make it a Long Island Iced Tea.’’
  29. ‘The music is so
  30. ‘Did you see what he was wearing; it’s so hideous tha – … oh, hi! How are you doing? I absolutely love what you are wearing today!’
  31. ‘Damn, I wish someone comes and buys me a drink.’
  32. ‘Oh my god! It has been so long since I saw you last? Where have you been?’
  33. ‘So where were you pre-drinking?’
  34. ‘So where are we drinking after?’
  35. ‘Have you seen how expensive the drinks are here, I am going to wing it with only one beer for the rest of the night…’
  36. ‘I would go and smoke outside but it’s so hot. Do you think the air conditioning is on?’
  37. ‘If I were him, I wouldn’t be wearing that pink dress jacket here. Actually, I wouldn’t wear it anywhere…’
  38. ‘Want to stand in the corner and make fun of everyone?’
  39. ‘…Why are you surprised to see them together? Didn’t you hear – they are an item again.’
  40. ‘The last time I was here, I got so wasted, I don’t remember a thing. There are videos somewhere, but I’d rather not see them…’
  41. ‘Is he checking me out? Tell me, is he checking me out?’
  42. ‘That’s a seven, and that’s a five, oh no wait, I think he’s a four…’
  43. ‘Do you think they saw me? Okay, pretend to say something really serious so that it looks like we don’t want out conversation to be disturbed.’
  44. ‘I think he was wearing the same outfit the last time around.’
  45. ‘Does anyone know where the after party is happening?’
  46. ‘You are getting there at 10? Who gets there that early? People would think you don’t have a life.’
  47. ‘You want to come back to my place? I have a great collection of jazz music…’
  48. ‘Don’t you think the crowd was better last time around?’
  49. ‘I am going to play a game where I count the number of people I’ve slept with.’
  50. ‘I’ve heard rumours that there are lines happening in the bathrooms…’

#GuysexualRecommends: Salvation Star’s Taboo Soiree: Time To Let It Glow!

 

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What: Salvation Star’s Taboo Soiree!

Where: White Owl Brewery and Bistro, Lower Parel, Mumbai.

When: 9:30 PM onwards, Saturday, 6th May 2017.

Why: Because while the thirst for tasty cocktails and chilled artisanal beer is real this summer, the thirst for cute guys is even more so. Have a thing for pretty men in prettier clothes?

Salvation Star is your path to sexual salvation.

Plus hey, I’ll be covering the party LIVE!

The Salvation Star Taboo Soiree: Saturday Night Live!

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What: The Taboo Soiree by Salvation Star – the funnest, hottest LGBT party comes back with its last edition for the year 2015.

Where: The White Owl Brewery, One India Bulls Centre, Lower Parel, Mumbai – 400013

When: 9:30 pm onwards, Saturday, 19th December 2015.

Why: Because, like always this combines two of my favourite things for a Saturday night – cute boys and tasty cocktails! Now what else does a boy want?

A trust fund, but that’s another story.

P.S: if that still doesn’t sway you, maybe this will?

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