Valentine’s Day. Hearts, flowers, economically destructive sales, ecologically destructive confetti, cheap chocolates and cheaper motives for the whole world to see.
While it’s usually tradition for most of us to dismiss it as a farce that lets stationers and chocolate makers take their annual holiday to the Bahamas, I’ve pledged to be nicer (less cynical) this year. As I look forward to 2017 with a sense of optimism that can only be the result of too many wine spritzers, here are 14 reasons why Valentine’s Day (never call it V-Day) isn’t all that bad:
Your Grindr is going to be very, very busy.
No one wants to be alone on Valentine’s Day – especially the torso across the street, who asks you for a dick pic every alternate night. Three glasses of red wine and one life-changing Rom Com later, you are going to be swiping right faster than the speed of light.
Have a pair of printed pants lying in your closet deeper than that homophobic second cousin of yours? Never know which way to wear the prints? Do you think that wearing the pants is a sure way to commit fashion faux pas? Think I ask too many questions?
The GuyStyler tells us exactly why printed pants are the ‘in-thing’, making sure that he gets all the fine print while he’s at it. (And I, on the other hand, give my wisdomous (if that is such a word) insight alongside, because hey, that’s what I do.)
“Printed pants have always been that one crucial piece of clothing that scares every man, second only to the form-fitting white t-shirt (The Guysexual’s side note about printed pants: we would like to put a disclaimer that this also includes gay men (or just me). ‘Those pants and that shirt? What were you thinking?’ – that’s the story of my life. Back to you, fashion expert!)
I mean I can’t tell you the number of times, I’ve been given “the look” when I’ve gone to a gay night out wearing printed pants. It’s funny but true – just like the fact that I have more shoes than I can wear, or worse, accommodate.
We’ll let you in on a secret. The trust is that a pair of printed pants just helps elevate your party look and takes it to a whole new level. Imagine a pair of beige linen pants with black Aztec prints all over them. Now team it up with a black shirt and a black blazer. That’s super hot and gives you that right amount of edge, without the need for any fairy godmothers, hypothetical or otherwise. (Goodbye Disney, we’ve got our own show running, thank you very much.)
While we are on the topic, here’s another fashion hack, just cause we like you so much. Tartan print is something that never goes out of season. The best way to wear tartan is to go for the same print combination for the blazer and the trouser so that you get a classic print-on-print look. (Disclaimer number 2: Sometimes this might be too much for a straight man to handle, even a gay one at times. So team it up with a white shirt, brown suspenders, a navy double-breasted jacket and brown brogues.)
If you are feeling slightly adventurous, you can experiment a bit more by going for polka dots, houndstooth or even paisley prints – like we say, it’s not fashion if you don’t dare to do it. (Okay, I said it.) In the end, the key is to make sure that the trousers are well fitted and made from a heavier fabric so that they don’t come across as pajamas.
Still confused? Here are a few lookbook references for you to take cues from. Go crazy!
Grindr’s geo-location tag says that he stays three blocks away. For gay men, that’s the same as being next door neighbours. ‘Three blocks?’ one might say, ‘Think of that as three hundred and sixty two meters to someone who could possibly be the next love of your life.’ Any closer, and he could practically duck-walk his way home, in thirty minutes or less. There’s a pizza commercial in there somewhere.
His name flashes on my phone – ‘What are you doing now ‘. Is that a question? Does it have an answer?
What:The Eden Festival – designed as an oasis in the middle of Mumbai and an escape from hectic urban life, The Eden Artfest has set a benchmark for urban music and art festivals. It’s a cultural playground, this one.
Where: Tote On Turf, Mahalaxmi
When: 14th and 15th November, 2015. Why: It combines three of our favorite things – music, art and fashion (and my one-way relationship with alcohol). What else does one want? (red velvet cupcakes, but hey, this is not the time.)
Who needs another reason to go here?
You don’t need to go all the way to Pune for this (cough, cough, looking at you NH7 Weekender.) Book your tickets here.