Mumbai Film and Comic Con : Channeling the inner nerd.

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What: The Mumbai Film And Comic Con 2015  – The convention this year brings in the best in popular culture from India & the world. Come meet your favorite writers, artists & creators, shop your heart out on their immense show floor and check out one of the biggest cosplay contests in the country – that’s like Game of Thrones married Sherlock and had a child.

Where: Bombay Convention and Exhibition Centre, Goregaon East, Mumbai -400063

When: 19-20th December, 2015.

Why: Because, face it, we all have that inner fanboy who’s going to be tripping like no one’s business.

PS: and also, we grew up on comic books while the rest of the country grew up on cricket. Reason enough to go? Buy your tickets here.

The Eat India Company Festival: Where food is fun.

 

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What: The Eat India Company Festival : The food festival for Mumbai is here! Spread over two days, the Eat India Company Fest will be an eating extravaganza like no other. With pop-up restaurants, live kitchens, cooking workshops, a food souk, live entertainment and specially curated activities for all ages, there is so much to explore at the festival. What they promise is a perfect day out with your family, with lip-smacking food.

Where: Mahalaxmi Racecourse, Mumbai – 400034.

When:  December 12  and 13, noon to 11:00 PM.

 Why: Because the best way to a man’s stomach (or mine) is through his stomach, and weekends spent eating are the best weekends in the world.
Now about all the wine we must have for brunch…

Interested in this culinary adventure? Find your way to all the food by buying tickets here.

Love And Other Drugs: Volume II

 

Love and other Drugs 2

Q. I’ve been trying to find friends on Tinder, but everyone I talk to seems to think that I only want to sleep with them. Help me out?

 – K. Das

 
A. Most people like to think of Tinder as the supermarket for singles. You go up and down aisles, picking up the ones you look and swiping off the ones you don’t. Assume you are going to the market to buy avocadoes – you’d buy some, but then you would also end up buying cilantro. And maybe, even some jalapeños. (Side note: hey, maybe you are making some guacamole. In that case, call me over for dinner?) At the same time, some people come to only buy jalapenos. Or Oranges. Or Apples. Or even toilet paper (well, you get the gist.) Finding a friend is like buying jalapenos when you want to buy avocadoes at the supermarket – you don’t decide to, it just happens – unless you end up buying half the hypothetical supermarket, in which case you might need a therapist or just a break from Tinder. Different people want different things, and there’s always a high chance you’d find someone who wants to buy the same thing you do (to make guacamole).  All this supermarket analogy aside, here are a couple of questions you have to ask yourself.

  1. Do you have a half-naked picture of yourself up as your display picture?
  2. Are you flexing your biceps in said picture?
  3. Have you ever asked anyone to come over for some ‘Netflix and chill’ without even knowing what Netflix (and chill) is?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, chances are finding a friend on Tinder is going to be more difficult than trying to read the news without having a snippet about Kim Kardashian in it. You just can’t help it.
Continue reading Love And Other Drugs: Volume II

20 Things You Hear At Every LGBT Party.

LGBT party

 

  1. ‘Wait. Is this only entry? I thought it was cover.’
  2. ‘This party is so boring; I should have just stayed home tonight. Wait, while you are heading to the bar, get me a beer? No, wait…make it a Long Island Iced Tea.’’
  3. ‘The music is so 2010.’
  4. ‘ Did you see what he was wearing; it’s so hideous tha – … oh, hi! How are you doing? I absolutely love what you are wearing today!’
  5. ‘Damn, I wish someone comes and buys me a drink.’
  6. ‘Oh my god! It has been so long since I saw you last? Where have you been?’
  7. ‘So where were you pre-drinking?’
  8. ‘I would go and smoke outside but it’s so hot. Do you think the air conditioning is on?’
  9. ‘Want to stand in the corner and make fun of everyone?’
  10. ‘…Why are you surprised to seem them together? Didn’t you hear – they are an item again.’
  11. ‘The last time I was here, I got so wasted, I don’t remember a thing. There are videos somewhere, but I’d rather not see them…’
  12. ‘Is he checking me out? Tell me, is he checking me out?’
  13. ‘That’s a seven, and that’s a five, oh no wait, I think he’s a four…’
  14. ‘Do you think they saw me? Okay, pretend to say something really serious so that it looks like we don’t want out conversation to be disturbed.’
  15. ‘I think he was wearing the same outfit the last time around.’
  16. ‘Does anyone know where the after party is happening?’
  17. ‘You are getting there at 10? Who gets there that early? People would think you don’t have a life.’
  18. ‘You want to come back to my place? I have a great collection of jazz music…’
  19. ‘Don’t you think the crowd was better last time around?’
  20. ‘I’ve heard rumours that there are lines happening in the bathrooms…’

The Printed Pants Paradox

Have a pair of printed pants lying in your closet deeper than that homophobic second cousin of yours? Never know which way to wear the prints? Do you think that wearing the pants is a sure way to commit fashion faux pas? Think I ask too many questions?

The GuyStyler tells us exactly why printed pants are the ‘in-thing’, making sure that he gets all the fine print while he’s at it. (And I, on the other hand, give my wisdomous (if that is such a word) insight alongside, because hey, that’s what I do.)
“Printed pants have always been that one crucial piece of clothing that scares every man, second only to the form-fitting white t-shirt (The Guysexual’s side note about printed pants: we would like to put a disclaimer that this also includes gay men (or just me). ‘Those pants and that shirt? What were you thinking?’ – that’s the story of my life. Back to you, fashion expert!)

I mean I can’t tell you the number of times, I’ve been given “the look” when I’ve gone to a gay night out wearing printed pants. It’s funny but true – just like the fact that I have more shoes than I can wear, or worse, accommodate.

We’ll let you in on a secret. The trust is that a pair of printed pants just helps elevate your party look and takes it to a whole new level. Imagine a pair of beige linen pants with black Aztec prints all over them. Now team it up with a black shirt and a black blazer. That’s super hot and gives you that right amount of edge, without the need for any fairy godmothers, hypothetical or otherwise. (Goodbye Disney, we’ve got our own show running, thank you very much.)

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Love Aztec prints? Flaunt it with black!

While we are on the topic, here’s another fashion hack, just cause we like you so much. Tartan print is something that never goes out of season. The best way to wear tartan is to go for the same print combination for the blazer and the trouser so that you get a classic print-on-print look. (Disclaimer number 2: Sometimes this might be too much for a straight man to handle, even a gay one at times. So team it up with a white shirt, brown suspenders, a navy double-breasted jacket and brown brogues.)

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Sometimes tartan is the way to be. Sometimes it’s Tartar sauce.

If you are feeling slightly adventurous, you can experiment a bit more by going for polka dots, houndstooth or even paisley prints – like we say, it’s not fashion if you don’t dare to do it. (Okay, I said it.) In the end, the key is to make sure that the trousers are well fitted and made from a heavier fabric so that they don’t come across as pajamas.

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Polka dots make for great bottoms too. yeah, I just said that.

Still confused? Here are a few lookbook references for you to take cues from. Go crazy!

Number Thirteen: The Doppelganger.

 

13 Doppelganger
Art Work: Siddha Kannur.

Churchgate

It’s a blind date, but I can recognize him anywhere. I’ve been told we look alike, but Thirteen, a writer with twinkling eyes is younger, brighter and happier. How do I know?

He’s waving at me across the station – dopey grin with a cornucopia of curls – and also I’ve only spent the last two days guiltlessly stalking him on Facebook. I laughed out loud with his status updates, sighed at his vacation pictures, pondered over his notes, judged his check-ins, scrutinized every freckle on his face, every friend on his list – well, you know the gist. His life is an open book. I am surprised by how minimal his privacy settings are. Do you know that one quirk we all adhere to?

We keep our friends close, our enemies closer, and our Facebook friends closest. Do I want other gay men to know who else I am flirting with? Our friend lists are like our little black books: full of old conquests, exes, one-night stands and those standalones whom you occasionally flirt with on messenger but have no intentions of meeting. Would I share my address book, lay it out bare? Not at all. It’s an unspoken rule: Hide your friends like you hide your prescription meds.

‘Hi!’ says the boy, he sounds breathless. How long was I breaking the fourth wall?

‘Hi!’ I grin back, full of hope. He was in the neighborhood, I was in the neighborhood – we decided to make the most of it – plus it makes a great story to tell. The greatest love stories begin at train stations.

‘Do you want to take this one?’ he asks, pointing at the train that’s just pulled in. Waves of people rush past, but we don’t lose each other. At least not yet.

‘Lead the way,’ I say.

He grins.

Grant Road

His work as an intern with a reputed tabloid – writes blurbs and whatnots – helps him earn a byline every now and then. There is a lot of ‘go get-me-some-coffee’ and ‘did-you-call-that-celebrity?’ or some ‘have-you-written-the-review-I-asked-you-to-write?’ if he’s lucky, but he’s always wanted to be a writer and he knows that’s how writers start. I cough involuntarily. Is that what he really wants to do?

No.

He wants to write stories about food – talk about it the way people talk about love – all-consumingly. Taste is an emotion – can a bit of chocolate tart give you butterflies in your stomach? Do you whimper with pleasure when you dig into a portion of freshly made Eggs Benedict? If your answer is yes, He is the right question.

Wait. Has he seen Ratatouille?

‘Everyone asks me that,’ he sighs. He loves food and even though he’s only a home baker, it is – hello, when do we get married?

He laughs aloud, and tells me I am funny.

Bombay Central

He’s telling me the perfect way to bake brownies (Let your eggs sit out of the fridge for a half hour before baking. They ensure that the brownies are gooey, and have a delicious crust) when –

‘You should come over for dinner sometime, I cook really well.’

Would there be brownies? I ask. We both giggle. A horde of travellers gets off the emptying train, but we don’t move apart.

Lower Parel

It’s difficult to discern whether you’ve made an impression on someone when you are being closely watched by everyone around you. A hundred pair of eyes. His are large and expressive, full of hope that I am too scared to crush.

‘Can I tell you something, you promise you won’t tell anyone?’

Uh-oh. I don’t like secrets that I can’t share.

‘The last time I went out on a date, I almost got mauled in an auto rickshaw,’ he blushes. I laugh loudly. The men around us are not amused. What did he do then?

He pushed him away (The him-in-question being a feisty television producer quite like number Eleven), jumped out of the rickshaw and never looked back once. Every gay man is a collection of short stories. Snippets shared over unlimited sangria and cigarette breaks or discussed behind dinner plates and closed bedroom doors. He is an anthology.

The train ride ahead is full of them – an S&M loving architect who designs celebrity homes. A thirty-something media mogul who has a weakness for twenty two year olds. A young fresh-faced doctor who had his first kiss at the age of twenty-one. If I weren’t in a northbound local back home, I would have thought I was auditioning for an episode of Gossip Girl. I take my chances and tell him so. He scrunches his eyebrows. Did I say something wrong? Did I lose my chance?

‘Are you team Blair Waldorf or team Serena van der Woodsen?’ he asks. I sigh. I think I should just go buy him a ring.

Mahim

He’s heading off to London in two months. Is he now?

Yes, for a writing program – and then he can kiss the internship goodbye. It’s going to be so exciting- the pubs, the food, the clothes, the English life, the aww’s instead of the aah’s – can you believe all the tea and scones I will have?

‘You should come visit if you are in that part of the world,’ he says to me. The train screeches to a halt in unison. I’ve never appreciated a signal so much.

It might be too soon to tell him that I am broke, but I know that he’s going to go places. Over the next couple of years, he will finish his Masters degree, work with a popular food magazine, start his own blog and get his heart broken multiple times. But where do we start?

With me.

On cue, a disembodied voice tells us that Bandra is next. Are we there yet already?

Bandra

It’s time. One of us has to go. ‘Do I see you again?’ one of us asks. It’s a pity that the two of us have different destinations to head to. The other one nods.

He beams as he gets off the train, and waves at me through the sea of faces that separate us. I wave past the faceless men and women, as the train pulls at my heartstrings. The others fade away, he doesn’t.

He texts me later, saying that I had him at hello. So did he, I almost tell him.

I never hit ‘Send‘.

 

The Date-o-meter: 8/10

Does this have a sequel? : Yes.

If this date were a song, it would be: ‘Wonderwall’ By Oasis.