Like a man’s scent and his shoes, his preferred dating app can speak volumes about his personality (and his data usage). Does he like to swipe right or send a spark? Does he send texts or thirst traps? Are his location settings enabled? What about his notifications? Or even better, his guards?
While you don’t have an option of playing favourites with children, pets or cast members from Brooklyn Nine Nine, you do get to be biased when it comes to online dating apps. The truth is every gay man has a go-to dating app, one that he likes cuddling up to (or find men on which he can cuddle with) after a day that’s wrapped in loneliness and long-forgotten email threads. It’s the app that he gets a drink with. The app that he gushes to his friends about. The one that he takes back home, safely in the confines of his smartphone.
You may have swiped through my very detailed reviews for each of these apps mentioned below, but how well do you know them? Have you ever wondered what the dating app you’re on says about you, or the people you meet on them? Swipe right through this list:
Who is it for: Men who can’t afford a Fairy Godmother to find the One™.
What does it say about you: “If I have to kiss a few frogs to find my Prince Charming, so be it. I really wish I could send dick pics though…”
Who is it for: Men looking for something beyond companionship and compatibility, unless it’s the sort of compatibility you seek in bed.
What does it say about you: ‘What? Of course, I don’t take this seriously. Do you stay alone, btw?’
Who is it for: Men looking for men with some hair on their chest and dirt on their nails.
What does it say about you: “Not that I have a problem with the spectrum, but why can’t all gay men be more straight-acting?’
Who is it for: Men looking for pure, uninhibited, unadulterated sex. Carry a condom.
What does it say about you: ‘I like to believe I am sex positive.’
Who is it for: Disney princes looking for friends of friends who are Disney princes.
What does it say about you: “I have so many friends, why can’t they set me up with someone they know?’
Who is it for: Men who believe in second chances. Just make sure you have a friend on SOS, and the neighborhood’s criminal offender’s list on standby.
What does it say about you: “Maybe I should go out more…”
Who is it for: Men who like it easy, but don’t want to seem easy.
What does it say about you: “I want to have sex, but I want my friends to have sex too.”
Who is it for: Same as Hornet, but they also prefer being called sapiosexuals.
What does it say about you: “Don’t even get me started on what I think about the current government’s administration…”
Who is it for: Men who don’t want to commit – to labels, relationships, or even sexual orientations.
What does it say about you: “So buddy, I am really not gay… but you want to get a beer or two and give me a blowjob later?”
Who is it for: Men who’ve tried every dating app there is, and are tired of the same.
What does it say about you: “…but what about #MakeInIndia?”