Monthly Archives: January 2019

The Things We Do

#PrideTalk: 37 People Tell Us What #Pride Means To Them In A Post Section 377 World

Leave a comment

pride-amrai.jpg

We’ve come full circle, boys and girls.

In less than a week, the city walks its eleventh ever Pride March – which means, the city’s (and the country’s) gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender brethren will take to the streets to walk for freedom, for love, and for everything in between.

This year is a monumental one as it marks the city’s first ever Pride March after the Supreme Court’s decision to read down parts of Section 377, thus making same-sex relationships legal (and the world a happy place again)!

Which is why, to honour the day and prove how important the cause is, I asked 37 queer folks what #Pride means to them in this (ever-so-slightly) progressive world. Our relationships may be legal on this bright(er) day, but we still have miles to go before we get the rights we deserve: workplace equality, the right to marry, anti-discrimination laws. The list goes on, but the questions don’t.

I asked, and the answers poured in from everywhere. Here’s what they all had to say:

Finally being and cherishing who I am and not giving a damn about what the neighborhood aunties will think.
—Arnav, poet

Not having to assure people that you like ‘girls and boys’.
—Harikesh, legal consultant

Being able to express myself the way I really want to. As the best (and truest) version of myself.
—Kartik, copywriter

Stop trying to obsessively define queerness. Be inclusive. Be loving. Be kind. Be cool.
—Mahima, writer

In fact, it shouldn’t need a definition. I don’t need to explain what, why or who. Straight people don’t come out or give explanations, so why should we?
—Thangsing, blogger

Self-acceptance. As a biromantic homosexual, it took me 17 years to accept who I really am.
—Arunava, chef

Not making a conscious effort to hide my sexuality.
—Saumya, student

Feeling brave enough to wear makeup and heels as a cis man.
—Harshvir, daytime diva

Pride means, to be you.
—Harsh, poet

Not feeling guilty for loving or wanting what your heart truly desires.
—Tanvi, team leader

Joy.
—Arzoo, illustrator

As a bisexual woman, I want reactions to be ‘OMG tell us about her!’ instead of ‘Oh, so are you gay now?’
—Diya, Netflix addict

Being as proud of your crush as your straight friends are of their’s.
—Ronak, marketing intern

Breathing freely.
—Ananya, student

The strength to come out to my parents.
—Soham, not disclosed

Being able to take all the negativity that has been thrown my way, and make it my personal strength.
—Arjun, MBA student

Companies capitalising on a social movement.
—Alankrita, HR professional

It’s plain, pure joy. The joy of homonormalisation!
—Tushar, baker

Professing my love without the fear of trolling.
—Pokhraj, student

People not saying things like ‘I’m okay with queers as long as they are not affectionate in public.’
—Hiranmayi, Tumblr connoisseur

It’s all about being someone you’re proud to be and not ashamed to accept.
—Anukul, management trainee

A sense of knowing and appreciating who you really are.
—Iti, architect

Finding love and the strength to finally come out to my parents.
—Dirk, entrepreneur

Educating others about the LGBTQIA+ community and not feeling uncomfortable because of it.
—Prajwal, fashion student

The right to just be. To be treated without prejudice or discrimination, just as an equal.
—Chittajit, science enthusiast

A colourful world.
—Eklavya, college student

Focusing on the rights and freedom of the lesser-known members of the queer spectrum.
—Rakesh, chemical engineer

Pride still means the same, pre or post Section 377: Be yourself unapologetically.
—Paartho, columnist

Freedom.
—Abhilash, consultant

The granting of civil liberties and marriage rights.
—Kavita, panel moderator

Finally owning that runway walk I pretend to do on the streets — fierce and liberated.
—Shethin, lawyer

Developing positive self-statements.
—Naveed, writer

Greater responsibility to ensure some real change happens in the society.
—Indrajeet, queer rights activist

Loving myself first.
—Hruday, actor

To be more positive towards my sexual orientation and fellow 250 million queer folks around the world.
—Rashi, chartered accountant

Breaking stereotypes, and making straight people realise the different shades of the queer spectrum.
—Lokesh, researcher.

Being ‘normal’.
—Rishabh, graphic designer

The Things We Do

The Queer Guy’s Guide To New Year Resolutions for 2019

2 Comments

2019_resolutions.

 

2018 came to an end, and so did my dreams of ever finding a happy ending.

As I pretend that my seventh glass of champagne is only my second, it’s time for me to ask those questions all over again – what do I remember 2018 by? The number of boys I ghosted? The number of boys who broke my heart? The bad decisions I woke up to (and with)? The bottles of prescription drugs I wolfed down? The shots I downed to forget? The hangovers I’ll never be able to forget? The hours I spent at therapy after? The resolutions I vowed to make? The resolutions I’ll effectively break?

As gay men (such as myself) parade into the new year making resolutions (and asking questions) that we’ll only give up on a week later, here are a few that I hope that don’t get lost in the sea of confetti, cheap champagne and regrets.

Want to know what they are? Simply slide into 2019 with this queer guy’s guide to NYE resolutions (but not like those ugly dick pics that slide into your Instagram DMs):

Ditch the dating apps, but don’t ditch out on the dates

There really is a high chance you’ll find the next big love of your life at the bookstore, or your favourite neighborhood bar (and we won’t judge you even if it happens at the gym.).

Then again, don’t lie about your age, height or weight on your online dating profile

72 kilograms are sexy, and so are you.

Don’t dismiss someone who’s considerably older or younger than you are

But make sure he’s legal.

Put an end to the ‘New Year, new me’

You’ll always be you. If people could change overnight, we would never have so many seasons worth of great television.

Be a nicer person. If you can’t, try till you succeed

Gay men have the potential to be a lot of things – charming, well-dressed, effortless, established, articulate, artistic or even high on drugs. But still, a lot of us choose to be d**chebags.

Take an active interest in politics

Because some of these decisions actually prevent gay men and women from receiving equal rights, which is just plain sad.

Let your biggest regret this year be not eating that last cupcake

But you should go ahead and eat it anyway.

Stop answering texts from the ex

There’s a word for it. It’s called ghosting.

Read more, but don’t read more into what other people said to you

Books are sexy and mysterious, just like the hot guy who makes eye contact with you at the bar (and then disappears forever). Reading online lists doesn’t count though, unless you are reading this one.

Do something that frightens you, not someone who frightens you

The list can include learning how to tap dance, skydiving and eating alone at a restaurant. Things the list should not include? Having unprotected sex with a complete stranger.

Exercise for health, not your crush’s phone number

If you want those six pack abs that you can eat sushi off, make sure you are doing it for yourself (Side note: even though eating sushi off your stomach can be quite unsettling).

Be okay with being single

There’s always 2019. And 2020. And 2021. And 2022. And so on.

Understand that brands don’t make the man, manners do

Very few men who have the latest Louis Vuitton bag will want to hear about your day at work.

Don’t be afraid to end a relationship that’s not going anywhere

Especially when the only place it’s going is downhill, with prescription bills.

Actually enjoy experiences, instead of just Instagram-ing them

And if the ratatouille doesn’t look as good as it does under the Aden filter, don’t eat it.

Tell the next boy you like how you really feel about him

The world would have more romances if less people were scared of sending two text messages in a row.

And if he doesn’t feel about you the same way, respect his choices

Because, boys and men, consent really is key.

Stop all the self-hating

If there’s one thing that I love more than money, it’s myself.

Be happier

Go on, you deserve it.